Recovery

Today I ran for the first time since Susitna, which makes it about 10 days. Last weekend I thought I would get back to it earlier, maybe Monday, but I just didn't feel like it. I felt really tired and actually had a nap during my lunch break on both Monday and Tuesday. It's nice to work from home.

Basically, during any down time during last weekend and early this week my only activities consisted of lying on my back watching the Olympics and eating. I am so hungry, all the time. I think that my body has decided that I cannot be trusted to provide enough food and therefore it will put some on the side just in case.

Today I felt good and actually felt like going for a short run. I did and it went pretty good. My left IT band is a bit stiff, although it doesn't hurt, and both my feet ached a bit. Nothing dramatic though and it was a nice, relaxed jog.

The only two body parts that are still bothering me a bit are my feet and my shoulders. The shoulder pain is from carrying that hydration vest for so long. My traps actually became numb during the race and I didn't really feel pain after the first 30 miles or so. Now they are pretty stiff. My feet are also stiff, but the biggest issue is that I got a few blisters that extended under 3 or 4 toenails. They don't hurt but those toes feel funny. I had a big blister on the side of the right big toe, which never hurt at all, but that's already healed up nicely.

Mentally, my recovery is a bit harder. I have a case of the post race post-partum. It's hard to go through such focused training, followed by a mind-blowing race experience and then come back to 9-to-5 and making the kids' lunches. It reminds me a bit (at a lesser level, of course) of the end of the movie 'The Hurt Locker' when the guy goes back home and can't bear the banality of everyday life. I'm not comparing directly of course, but still, you can feel some inner desire to go back, to experience again the intensity and simplicity of a long race where there's no worries other than getting through the next mile.

My doubts about ever running a 100 miler again, let alone Susitna, are long gone. I remember thinking about it but my longing for the experience is way stronger than my wish to avoid pain. So I will run long again.

I feel a bit aimless. I'm thinking about my next goals, trying to decide why I run. Last year was my first year running ultras, so I never really cared about my time. Speed means nothing if it's not on the same course, so last year was mostly just about finishing. Now I have to ask myself, do I try to go faster? Do I really care about my time or do I just run and enjoy the distance and the people? Anyway, a lot going on in my nugget these days.