I feel my need to run far as a longing. Ever since I started running long, I have this image that sometimes pop into my head: I'm running down a trail. I feel great. I don't know where I'm going but I know it's far. I'm just moving forward. Then the image is gone but its taste lingers and I know that I want to be that person who was running free, alive, without a care in the world.
I'm lucky because I actually got to live that dream. I remember running in the dark around 1 AM, my headlamp painting a white circle in the snow in front of me, listening to my foot steps on the hard snow: crunch, crunch, crunch. At least 5 times I stopped, turned off my lamp and looked at the sky, taking it all in. Then I'd get cold and get going again. I hadn't felt so alive in a long time.
I run so I can live my dream again, so I can be free. Often I wish I were a good runner, that I could run faster, but really, it doesn't matter. Much.